Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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