Me too!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
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I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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