So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize
