i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
