Hey man sorry I got all grabby
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
