Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
