come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
