Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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