this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
