My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
