go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
