Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
