Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
