I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
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Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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