How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
