Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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