Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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