ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
