True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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