the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
