So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sobbing to NWA
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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