I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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