He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize