Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
