this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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