what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
