I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
