thus making me awesome and them whores
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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