So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Come on in and take your pants off
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