I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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