I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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