Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize