Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
