I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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