I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't put those talents on a resume
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize