i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
