Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize