I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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