the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
