i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize