Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Randomize
