The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
