While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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