I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
