I wish I could teleport
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
