i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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