you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
