just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
