i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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