i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
