Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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