Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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