Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
