Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
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