I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
