She's JV to your varsity
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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