he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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