Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm really busy with my period
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