I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
