At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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