the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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