dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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