So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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