I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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